german train stations are the perfect example of einstein's theory of relativity. just like black holes, they have the power to warp space and time around them. five minutes at the platform is equivalent to five hours in the real world.

not only schrödinger's cat used to be dead and alive at the same time. german trains, just like this chronically undecided feline, can also be simultaneously punctual, delayed or cancelled, depending on whether the observer is on a hurry.

imagine there's five people chained to one track and one person chained to the other, with a high-speed train moving towards them. would you pull a lever so that the train only kills one person? when the train is delayed, you won't have to!

german train stations are the birthplace of the world's most advanced pharmaceutical breakthroughs, including highly addictive substances such as track cocaine, ICEcstasy, and mettbrötchen.

by replacing ticketing employees with advanced vending machines, the german state railways revolutionised the field of information technology, and might soon even replace their ancestral fax machines.

do you have a reservation? do you NEED a reservation? then watch yourself getting thrown out of a train, as random-reward loops and “dynamic pricing” make commuters gamble away paychecks for a ticket to karlsruhe.