hans is a "golden retriever boy" from the bavarian countryside. his kind and generous personality is marked by partying, fun, ✨special substances✨ and a complete lack of self-control.

greta is cunning, smart, and only cares about one thing: making money. her business skills, sharp language and unhinged behaviour make her a huge contrast to her twin brother hans.

the grandmother is not only the most successful entrepreneur of the entire kingdom, but also the person responsible for the production and distribution of the world's best dru-, uh, SPICES.

sinderella (with an S, you know, because she sins) is an innocent-looking dominatrix who's looking to become the kinkiest girl of the entire kingdom. or kinkdom?

sleeping beauty is an overworked management consultant who has no interest in being awakened. instead she will sue anyone who dares interrupt her "ruhezeiten".

beauty and the beast just got played a reverse card – this once-beloved bear got turned into a man, and now spends his days trapped in his "podcastle".

if it snows, it blows. that's the motto of snow white, a fabulous drag queen who runs a sophisticated substance-dealing operation with her seven twinks.

the wolf is a real estate developer who never intended to eat the three little pigs. instead he wants to evict them from their houses and gentrify their neighbourhood.

dracula doesn't need blood to survive – as long as he has beer. after a surprising incident at oktoberfest, this vampire became an icon of german beer culture.

this frustrated sex toy is unable to lie. instead he exploits the german art of passive-aggressive language in order to conceal his intentions.

this long-haired beauty influencer is running away from the tax authorities and spends her days locked away in her dubai penthouse.

including "john and the weedstalk", "the evil witch", and a number of real-life personalities and celebrities i might not be legally allowed to talk about.